Poor thing.
Lovely news, however! I am now running Ubuntu 6.10, Edgy Eft, on my 160 GB hard drive. Sweet. I actually got the disc (I had to buy it through linuxCD.org since um downloading was not a possibility and 6.10 is pretty old; much faster shipping than I expected, very awesome) three (?) days ago and have been learning it ... relatively quickly, I think. Maybe I'm giving myself too much credit, but you know. I can do that.
I'm actually trying to get the clock to stop telling me it's the wrong time of day (for example, it thinks it's around noon instead of midnight :[) right now... mostly I'm messing up super-simple stuff, you know? And I haven't had to use the terminal at all, which ... is still rather intimidating. Totally GUI so far, though, man.
Basically my computer is full of joyful weeping unto Hosannah, yanno, and I wanted to share. :3
4.11.2008
3.30.2008
The Shores of the Atlantic, III
Static. A long, agonizingly long beep of the kind played before severe weather alert announcements. More static.
Silence.
We took things for granted. We took sound, color, taste, smell for granted. We took for granted the vibration of speech...
We took hope for granted. The list of things I have lost is infinite and none more important than another. Time in my perception has passed and the colors of tropical birds have the same value as a woman in my bed. Time as a general consensual reality has ceased to exist, and there are no tropics anymore, or women.
I have a difficult time appreciating the birds, though.
3.28.2008
The Shores of the Atlantic, II
There was not what there should have been, what humanity had been sure there would be for millenia. It was quiet. It was swift. It was in broad daylight.
It was not supernatural or divine. There was no judgment, no "reason." You could almost say it was ironic - only mankind ever believed in a reason for anything, Nature just closed her eyes as she moved a molecule this way or that and hoped for the best. You could say that, if you existed, and if it wasn't just unfair instead of ironic.
Not that technicalities in diction matter now.
Once, people believed in ascending to Heaven body-and-soul. That is almost believable now, if not for the fact that they descended, those with or without souls.
Once, all people migrated naturally - later actively - to rivers and streams for sources of water, and rivers and oceans for trading.
Eventually we would flee them, albeit in vain.
Despite all my rage, blah blah blah.
I have the most horrible feeling that my plan to put happiness into the world by being happy is a complete failure.
And I want to say, to hell with the world! It's all about you and me, baby, but I can hardly conceive even believing that. And it doesn't matter that the apostrophe is in the wrong place when rape is even existing. It doesn't matter that I'm lonely when people are beating the hell out of their pregnant handicapped roommates. What I want to do doesn't matter. People are starving, dying, bleeding, and praying for ...what, again?
Miss America, please outline your wish in more detail. "I wish for world peace" doesn't really cut it. "I wish for equality in finances; the human right to not have the crap kicked out of you to be honored; clean water for the whole planet; that people would get off their lazy asses and clean some of the litter in the park up more often; dignity in death; respect for your elders and those younger as well; no more insane young people killing everyone in sight; for human beings to live as we ought and not to survive as though we're still animals in the trees. I wish not for love and happiness for all but the basic human right to not be waterboarded for an oil war to be respected, for more adoptions from African countries, for less attention to be paid to what celebrity is in rehab this weekend and more to what dictators are blowing up what sect of their population the same weekend."
Not so much about the attention part, I suppose. I hate talking. I am so tired of talking about "the issues." No war! Okay, we've settled it, we hate war. Hey, wait, why's this war still going on? Well, sweetheart, because our lovely representative political offices are currently held by a bunch of bought-and-paid-for idiots who don't care that children are slowly - and not so slowly - starving to death as long as they can glut themselves on things human beings shouldn't even eat (like excessive amounts of anything at all). We can't make up our minds about abortion! Well, get over it, because Roe v. Wade is already in place and is morally sound. Our economy is crumbling and we can't do anything about it! Maybe we should direct our violent natures to more useful things than stupid, broke college and high-school kids and mallrats - I'm pretty sure your Congressman voted in favor of the law that did blank to your blank and thus made you homicidal and not that neighborhood prep, whose assholicness is negotiable since you're the one putting bullets into him.
In conclusion, there is no conclusion. Vote, boycott, march, buy pins or shoelaces or whatever your cause calls for as a group action. Slavery and rape and slaughter and ignorance still exist - there are a million Causes to choose from and multiple Campaigns in each cause. I'm sure you can find something you care about more than whoever's winning American Idol.
And I want to say, to hell with the world! It's all about you and me, baby, but I can hardly conceive even believing that. And it doesn't matter that the apostrophe is in the wrong place when rape is even existing. It doesn't matter that I'm lonely when people are beating the hell out of their pregnant handicapped roommates. What I want to do doesn't matter. People are starving, dying, bleeding, and praying for ...what, again?
Miss America, please outline your wish in more detail. "I wish for world peace" doesn't really cut it. "I wish for equality in finances; the human right to not have the crap kicked out of you to be honored; clean water for the whole planet; that people would get off their lazy asses and clean some of the litter in the park up more often; dignity in death; respect for your elders and those younger as well; no more insane young people killing everyone in sight; for human beings to live as we ought and not to survive as though we're still animals in the trees. I wish not for love and happiness for all but the basic human right to not be waterboarded for an oil war to be respected, for more adoptions from African countries, for less attention to be paid to what celebrity is in rehab this weekend and more to what dictators are blowing up what sect of their population the same weekend."
Not so much about the attention part, I suppose. I hate talking. I am so tired of talking about "the issues." No war! Okay, we've settled it, we hate war. Hey, wait, why's this war still going on? Well, sweetheart, because our lovely representative political offices are currently held by a bunch of bought-and-paid-for idiots who don't care that children are slowly - and not so slowly - starving to death as long as they can glut themselves on things human beings shouldn't even eat (like excessive amounts of anything at all). We can't make up our minds about abortion! Well, get over it, because Roe v. Wade is already in place and is morally sound. Our economy is crumbling and we can't do anything about it! Maybe we should direct our violent natures to more useful things than stupid, broke college and high-school kids and mallrats - I'm pretty sure your Congressman voted in favor of the law that did blank to your blank and thus made you homicidal and not that neighborhood prep, whose assholicness is negotiable since you're the one putting bullets into him.
In conclusion, there is no conclusion. Vote, boycott, march, buy pins or shoelaces or whatever your cause calls for as a group action. Slavery and rape and slaughter and ignorance still exist - there are a million Causes to choose from and multiple Campaigns in each cause. I'm sure you can find something you care about more than whoever's winning American Idol.
3.20.2008
Covington's new architectural mindblower. Let me show you it.
Image from Archidose, who ... got it from somebody else.
That, my lovelies, is in Covington. I remember reading about it last year when my family was going to move to the Cincy metro area (which I will apparently be doing on my own after I have degrees and a small dog and drink coffee at regular hours) and I also remember thinking, "Wow, I hope they have plans for more huge-ass buildings to match it."
Well, the degree of matching really depends on the angle of the picture you take of the building. Obviously the website is going to have some more flattering photographs, so there you are.
In the vein of greed, those condos are gorgeous inside, with a great blend of modern (post-modern? I know nothing about precise classifications) and traditional. And I want the Pinnacle.
3.19.2008
The Shores of the Atlantic, I
Upon reflection, perhaps recording my thoughts is not the best of ideas. Also upon reflection, perhaps it doesn't matter. Perhaps I will stumble upon the thoughts of another's, thoughts far more profound than mine.
Regardless, I write.
When everything was normal I did not believe who you are to be defined by anything other than what the people you loved thought of you.
There is no one left to judge me. I am no one. I am nothing. My name, age, medical information - nothing.
No one is left to care.
Whatever remains of me, that is all that is left of sentient conscience. For once, in a bitterly laughable way, the world and I are on the same page. Devoid of soul and thought. Devoid.
The Void...
Once, I know, there were colors. When they existed, their favorite place was right here in New England.
Vibrant means nothing now.
Neither does desolate, really. I was never a wordsmith; perhaps one should have survived to name this place. On the shores of the Atlantic, that cold forbidding sea, the world swallowed up the happiness and warmth of you and me. Children might sing that in generations to come, if there were any children to sing.
Or any generations to come...
I don't know his name, but I think he's writing me.
3.18.2008
A Useful Post in Which I Speak of Websites &such
In light of goowy.com's future being rather uncertain, a post.
I've had my Gmail and LiveJournal accounts since 2005. I've had a few before then, but these are the ones I've kept. I like the names, I like all of the crap that accumulates over the years. Granted, some of the e-mails and posts seem a little odd to me a few years later, but that's only to be expected.
LiveJournal first.
Almost every friend on the internet I have I met through LiveJournal. Three close friends from it feels like a million years ago through ai_made_us_cry, a community where we hated new "greenday" with every fiber of our beings. Another through an Emo Boy community, which admittedly hasn't been much more active than said anti-Green Day one. And now that I'm not being such a lurker, this Fullmetal Alchemist community has brought me quite a few friends - not close ones, but "hey! I know & like you, let's talk<3" kind of friends.
And the point of all this is that I love my LiveJournal experience. I have for years. So when I see things like this news post, I start to worry. Strikethrough 07 was something pretty awful, and my only internet access at the time was fifteen minutes away at the library. The Adult Content notice is a new annoying feature (especially as I am a few months shy of eighteen and much into fanfiction) but removing basic, ad-free accounts and then telling everyone? Nice.
I feel as though I knew I had cause to worry when LJ was sold to some year-old Russian company.
Now! In more recent ... years, months, I stumbled across www.goowy.com, a Flash-based webtop with e-mail client and "widgets," the former of which I simply forwarded my Gmail messages to and the latter of which come in really, really useful. Did I mention that it's gorgeous, which is why I prefer it over everything else? It also has games and probably some other things. Oho, where can you sign up?
Well, you can't. AOL acquired Goowy, announced February 3rd, and on the homepage as of the 17th of March new accounts are no longer an option and the explanation is scant. Moving Goowy to AOL's webmail client? What does that mean for users? I went to the forums wanting clarification, and I kind of found it.
Well, you know, I was just assuming AOL would be HOSTING the gorgeous webtop I've had since November or December, but ... that's a valid assumption, too, I guess. Thanks for, uh, clarifying that and such.
So, needless to say, I need a plan for if/when Goowy goes under. I begin one. Well, I certainly don't want to go back to ugly old Gmail's interface except to compose messages (and yes, it is rather ugly in comparison to Goowy); my friend tells me AOL's got free accounts now! Oho! Well, I like their interface, and they are the ones who own Goowy now, so maybe ...
Except they won't let me begin with a number. I'm certainly not going to be songlyrics@aol.com or televisionshow@aol.com or anything. I don't have personalized default e-mail addresses, no sirree! So I look for other free e-mail clients, which is how I found Goowy in the first place, hoping and praying I'll find something as gorgeous and easy.
I haven't, and I probably won't. So back to Gmail itself instead of forwarding everything for the time being.
But that's only one problem solved. Until recently I was never really into RSS feeds, you know, I only keep tabs on a few websites and they don't update every hour. I'm not a newshound or an avid blog-reader. I have my friendslist on LJ for that, basically, and a few MySpace blog subscriptions. However, I need a way to keep up on Blogger posts from blogs I care about, like my friend's art blog and ... well, a college I was intensely interested in for a long time. From there I subscribed to some other feeds, like my favorite webcomic and NPR news. Yes! News! I wanted to know what was going on with new research!
Now I'm sure you see my problem here... yes, all of that is on Goowy's webtop. Very pretty, you know, very simple. Now I need, augh, a "real" feed aggregator. Well, that's simple enough, I think - I'll go find one!
Oh yes, very simple - if you're the kind to just download the "best" thing out there... which I'm not.
So what now? Well, let's read what other people are saying about it. From there (one post, actually, which is here), I was sent along my merry way to see about Omea Pro and Newzie.. Well, I don't need all of those extra features with Omea Pro, so I figure I'll just download the basic Omea Reader. Haha, sir, no, you can download it but TO NO AVAIL! For you have not the .NET framework (which I admit I know less than nothing about except the following) which you must have Windows XP to download!
What? Crap! I only have 2000! Thanks, Microsoft! There goes Omea. I make a sad face.
Which out of the two, leaves, obviously, Newzie. Newzie's website design is, in my opinion, functional but kind of lacking in aesthetic luxury, so I'm reluctant to download, but like I said - it looks functional. And when I download it, it isn't gorgeous, but it's pretty enough to suit my girly tastes. And it ... doesn't say anything about requiring .NET, but like I said, I know less than nothing about that so I suppose if it does, well, I'll cry. And try to do things about it like get older versions.
And maybe, if it comes down to it, just use my browser.
I've had my Gmail and LiveJournal accounts since 2005. I've had a few before then, but these are the ones I've kept. I like the names, I like all of the crap that accumulates over the years. Granted, some of the e-mails and posts seem a little odd to me a few years later, but that's only to be expected.
LiveJournal first.
Almost every friend on the internet I have I met through LiveJournal. Three close friends from it feels like a million years ago through ai_made_us_cry, a community where we hated new "greenday" with every fiber of our beings. Another through an Emo Boy community, which admittedly hasn't been much more active than said anti-Green Day one. And now that I'm not being such a lurker, this Fullmetal Alchemist community has brought me quite a few friends - not close ones, but "hey! I know & like you, let's talk<3" kind of friends.
And the point of all this is that I love my LiveJournal experience. I have for years. So when I see things like this news post, I start to worry. Strikethrough 07 was something pretty awful, and my only internet access at the time was fifteen minutes away at the library. The Adult Content notice is a new annoying feature (especially as I am a few months shy of eighteen and much into fanfiction) but removing basic, ad-free accounts and then telling everyone? Nice.
I feel as though I knew I had cause to worry when LJ was sold to some year-old Russian company.
Now! In more recent ... years, months, I stumbled across www.goowy.com, a Flash-based webtop with e-mail client and "widgets," the former of which I simply forwarded my Gmail messages to and the latter of which come in really, really useful. Did I mention that it's gorgeous, which is why I prefer it over everything else? It also has games and probably some other things. Oho, where can you sign up?
Well, you can't. AOL acquired Goowy, announced February 3rd, and on the homepage as of the 17th of March new accounts are no longer an option and the explanation is scant. Moving Goowy to AOL's webmail client? What does that mean for users? I went to the forums wanting clarification, and I kind of found it.
I think it is fair to assume, based on the note on our home page, that we will be transitioning users away from goowy, which is to say that we will not be maintaining the environment for the long term.
Well, you know, I was just assuming AOL would be HOSTING the gorgeous webtop I've had since November or December, but ... that's a valid assumption, too, I guess. Thanks for, uh, clarifying that and such.
So, needless to say, I need a plan for if/when Goowy goes under. I begin one. Well, I certainly don't want to go back to ugly old Gmail's interface except to compose messages (and yes, it is rather ugly in comparison to Goowy); my friend tells me AOL's got free accounts now! Oho! Well, I like their interface, and they are the ones who own Goowy now, so maybe ...
Except they won't let me begin with a number. I'm certainly not going to be songlyrics@aol.com or televisionshow@aol.com or anything. I don't have personalized default e-mail addresses, no sirree! So I look for other free e-mail clients, which is how I found Goowy in the first place, hoping and praying I'll find something as gorgeous and easy.
I haven't, and I probably won't. So back to Gmail itself instead of forwarding everything for the time being.
But that's only one problem solved. Until recently I was never really into RSS feeds, you know, I only keep tabs on a few websites and they don't update every hour. I'm not a newshound or an avid blog-reader. I have my friendslist on LJ for that, basically, and a few MySpace blog subscriptions. However, I need a way to keep up on Blogger posts from blogs I care about, like my friend's art blog and ... well, a college I was intensely interested in for a long time. From there I subscribed to some other feeds, like my favorite webcomic and NPR news. Yes! News! I wanted to know what was going on with new research!
Now I'm sure you see my problem here... yes, all of that is on Goowy's webtop. Very pretty, you know, very simple. Now I need, augh, a "real" feed aggregator. Well, that's simple enough, I think - I'll go find one!
Oh yes, very simple - if you're the kind to just download the "best" thing out there... which I'm not.
So what now? Well, let's read what other people are saying about it. From there (one post, actually, which is here), I was sent along my merry way to see about Omea Pro and Newzie.. Well, I don't need all of those extra features with Omea Pro, so I figure I'll just download the basic Omea Reader. Haha, sir, no, you can download it but TO NO AVAIL! For you have not the .NET framework (which I admit I know less than nothing about except the following) which you must have Windows XP to download!
What? Crap! I only have 2000! Thanks, Microsoft! There goes Omea. I make a sad face.
Which out of the two, leaves, obviously, Newzie. Newzie's website design is, in my opinion, functional but kind of lacking in aesthetic luxury, so I'm reluctant to download, but like I said - it looks functional. And when I download it, it isn't gorgeous, but it's pretty enough to suit my girly tastes. And it ... doesn't say anything about requiring .NET, but like I said, I know less than nothing about that so I suppose if it does, well, I'll cry. And try to do things about it like get older versions.
And maybe, if it comes down to it, just use my browser.
3.08.2008
We all live in fantasy "realities."
It just might happen that the degree of fantasy deviating from the cliche of a collected reality differs.
No man is an island, true enough, but we are all alone nonetheless. Perhaps we dream of bettering our finances; perhaps of strengthening our emotional connections fictional or existent. Some of us dream of God, some of fame. We dream in numbers and colors and grammatical syntax.
The sheer amount of things a human being can dream of, pine for, is overwhelming. This in part helps to shelter us; we instinctively hide in a fortress where we choose what to think about, more or less, and simply follow life from there. We are more than aware of other modes of existence and other realities and most of us care, but care is irrelevant.
This is the reason for fiction, and this is all the justification I can stomach coming out of my personal fantasy for.
No man is an island, true enough, but we are all alone nonetheless. Perhaps we dream of bettering our finances; perhaps of strengthening our emotional connections fictional or existent. Some of us dream of God, some of fame. We dream in numbers and colors and grammatical syntax.
The sheer amount of things a human being can dream of, pine for, is overwhelming. This in part helps to shelter us; we instinctively hide in a fortress where we choose what to think about, more or less, and simply follow life from there. We are more than aware of other modes of existence and other realities and most of us care, but care is irrelevant.
This is the reason for fiction, and this is all the justification I can stomach coming out of my personal fantasy for.
2.26.2008
"Teens losing touch with historical references"
sauce
One thousand, two hundred students surveyed and suddenly all high-schoolers are idiots. Granted, quite a few high-schoolers are, but nonetheless, I hardly think such a survey is valid. Perhaps reviewing certain demographics for ACT, SAT and different state's standardized test-scores would reveal more positive statistics.
My fondness for surveys is waning, and in light of the fact [of an opinion!] that it was never present to begin with, well. Tiny little surveys being taken seriously seems to be quite popular; I wonder if surveys have always been so misleading as they are recently?
Among 1,200 students surveyed:
•43% knew the Civil War was fought between 1850 and 1900.
•52% could identify the theme of 1984.
•51% knew that the controversy surrounding Sen. Joseph McCarthy focused on communism.
In all, students earned a C in history and an F in literature, though the survey suggests students do well on topics schools cover. For instance, 88% knew the bombing of Pearl Harbor led the USA into World War II, and 97% could identify Martin Luther King Jr. as author of the "I Have a Dream" speech.
One thousand, two hundred students surveyed and suddenly all high-schoolers are idiots. Granted, quite a few high-schoolers are, but nonetheless, I hardly think such a survey is valid. Perhaps reviewing certain demographics for ACT, SAT and different state's standardized test-scores would reveal more positive statistics.
My fondness for surveys is waning, and in light of the fact [of an opinion!] that it was never present to begin with, well. Tiny little surveys being taken seriously seems to be quite popular; I wonder if surveys have always been so misleading as they are recently?
Oh God, that can't be my destiny.
I refuse to let my life be like one of those short stories in The New Yorker. I grow up to be some miserable 30-something and all the men in my past who fucked me over emotionally or psychologically come back to apologize and blegh.
Live in a windowy cabin out in Wyoming or something with a dog I don't show much emotional attachment to with three-sentence descriptions of my therapy sessions with a woman as cynical as myself...
And then I find out 4/5ths of the way through the story that I have an illegitimate half-brother living in South Carolina who's in debt up to his ears and could really use the financial assistance of his half-sister who so happens to be a renowned textbook author...
The story ends with a really, really subdued "this would be heartfelt if it were a film" scene where I've made a passive decision to give my half-brother some few thousand dollars so he can take care of his wife and two young boys, one of whom is some kind of genius and is enrolled in a fancy boarding school for young geniuses based on his merit alone.
You know, to be honest I'd rather have a more Star Wars-based life. The Force would run strong within me and I'd be a bad-ass Jedi and maybe I should pick something I know more about, but I don't really care as long as I don't end up in some passive, Valium-reduced short story.
Live in a windowy cabin out in Wyoming or something with a dog I don't show much emotional attachment to with three-sentence descriptions of my therapy sessions with a woman as cynical as myself...
And then I find out 4/5ths of the way through the story that I have an illegitimate half-brother living in South Carolina who's in debt up to his ears and could really use the financial assistance of his half-sister who so happens to be a renowned textbook author...
The story ends with a really, really subdued "this would be heartfelt if it were a film" scene where I've made a passive decision to give my half-brother some few thousand dollars so he can take care of his wife and two young boys, one of whom is some kind of genius and is enrolled in a fancy boarding school for young geniuses based on his merit alone.
You know, to be honest I'd rather have a more Star Wars-based life. The Force would run strong within me and I'd be a bad-ass Jedi and maybe I should pick something I know more about, but I don't really care as long as I don't end up in some passive, Valium-reduced short story.
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